Month: November 2023

Let consistency over motivation lead you to success. Are you worried about holiday weight gain? You can beat holiday weight gain with consistency. Consistency will outweigh motivation every time. Who is motivated to “eat clean” when your favorite aunt made your favorite meal? Or when special holiday treats are popping up everywhere like pumpkin spice.

Do you smell the pumpkin spice in the air? Taste it in your overpriced cup of Starbucks coffee? Look, people hate pumpkin spice. I’m a huge pumpkin spice fan, so this is my season. I want this season to last forever. I want pumpkin spice, pumpkin syrup and pumpkin flavor in everything. I don’t care what it is. It’s my favorite thing. Which is challenging when you are trying to watch your diet during the holidays. Even if you’re in holiday vacation mode there are tricks to dieting while on holiday vacation. 

How to Set Boundaries with Family

This week I share advice on how to set boundaries with food over the holidays. Woo! This is a big one. This is a tough one. Because you know, there are times when you can negotiate. There are times when you can’t. There are times when you want to go off your diet and there are times when you want to be steadfast.

How are we going to navigate this holiday season? So first of all, let me tell you my plans for the holidays. And those plans do not include me cooking.

Hire a Chef and Host Holiday Dinner

Actually, no one in my family is cooking. We are calling on the skills of our favorite personal chef.  Our Chef Harley, will be coming from New York and cooking for us for this holiday season. He was also the chef for my wedding where his menu was a huge, huge success.

He’s worked with Fab, Lauryn Hill, Cardi B, Lala, NFL & NBA  players, and many, many more. 

I’m not sure how many NDA’s aka non-disclosure agreements he’s signed. But that is a short list of his more famous clientele. 

So he’s coming in to prepare our family celebration. I’m maintaining my diet by hiring a personal chef. A great tip is to host your own holiday dinner so you can control the menu. The caterer, chef, or you as the host can prepare whatever fits your dietary restrictions.

Inquire About the Menu in Advance

If you’re unable to host or you can’t cook for shit, this is what you can do. Try to get the details on how it’s being prepared.

Asking someone how they prepared a dish can be tricky. Depends on how well you know them and depends on how you ask. For example, if it’s my mom. I can say, hey, mom, you’re making mac and cheese this year, so, um, how are you making it? As you know I’m on a gluten-free diet, can you use gluten-free noodles? Be slick about it. Inquire about their recipe. If the ingredients don’t fit your diet, skip it.

Eat Before You Arrive

But the other option is, eat before you get there. It may sound sounds sacrilegious, but trust me, it’s way better than starving. Who wants to watch people chow down on  amazing food while you sit there eating nothing. I understand consistency is important but starvation isn’t on the menu either.

If you have any weakness in your body, your motivation to stay the course will be tested. You will break and you will eat everything in sight because there’s no way you’re going to make it through. I was a vegan for eight years and I’m telling you right now, just because I was a vegan does not mean I’m blind. I could see all the amazing dishes. The red velvet cake, sweet potato pie, and yummy mac and cheese. If you think I didn’t want that stuff, you are out of your mind. I talk more about my experience as a vegan in this episode.

So if I’m uncomfortable sharing my diet preferences with the host I eat before I get there.

Bring a Dish to Share

Another great trick is to bring a dish that you want to eat. Make sure you bring enough to share. This is something I think you should always do. Even better than eating before you get there because, if you don’t eat, folks will have questions.

Everybody’s going to ask you, girl, why are you not eating? I know “you’re hungry.” You know, Black folks, we’re going to put food on your plate and make you eat it. We’re not even going to ask if you want it. We’re going to throw it on your plate and be like, here’s some food. And trust, they’re going to expect you to eat every single bite of it.

So instead of sitting there, not eating anything and being so obvious. You know that your aunt, your grandma, your granny, your mama, they’re going to be like. “Is something wrong with my food?” That’s when they get offended. We don’t want to offend anybody this holiday season, but we also want to stick to our dietary or diet plans or goals. While we are sitting around in our matching pajamas, taking family pics, let’s keep the peace.

Another reason why you should also bring a dish that you like. People will reassure you they made a dish that is diet friendly and it would be completely wrong.

Is it Rude to Not Eat the Food?

You know, I don’t have a problem with sharing with the host my dietary restrictions. It’s more important for me to stay consistent than to please someone. But I do understand that may be hard for you. And the one time I realized asking for dietary changes could be challenging was when I lived in Japan. In Japan, you can’t substitute foods when there is a set menu. Ever.

They don’t do that. This article says it all. When I lived in Japan I gained a lot of weight because I was eating so many carbs. I was eating a lot of rice and a lot of Japanese junk food. Now the Japanese eat really, really healthy.

I was eating a lot of heavy food and decided to go on a diet. This caused… such a rift between me and my host mom. She was so offended I would not eat some of her food. Once we talked I explained and learned why she was so offended. She learned that it wasn’t her food but my growing waistline. That was my first time experiencing someone being pissed off about food.

Practice the Conversation in the Mirror

So here’s some other tips on how to navigate the holiday season. Before you go, how about practicing the conversation with your family in the mirror? 

Everything is about delivery  in life? Sometimes not about what you say, but about how you say it. And sometimes we’re not sensitive to how we say things to people. So go in the mirror and practice.

“Hey, you know, auntie. I’m so excited to spend this holiday with you but if you don’t see me eating certain foods don’t be offended. I’m trying to take care of my health. Practice if you feel timid or afraid.

Be prepared to speak up and also stand up for yourself because no one’s going to take care of you more than you. No one understands your struggle more than you. When people get offended it’s because they feel guilty about not doing it themselves.

Lie or Blame it on the Doctor

Tell them it’s the doctor’s orders. Or that you’re allergic, because no one wants their holiday ruined by a trip to the ER. So if all else fails, blame it on the doctor. Blame it on your allergy. I’m not gonna lie to y’all, I have definitely gone to restaurants and I had a gluten allergy. I have a gluten sensitivity, but I’m not celiac. I am not allergic to anything, but I’m not above telling people that I am allergic if it will help keep me consistent. 

Is it Okay to Cheat?

It depends on you. Remember consistency over motivation. What does cheating mean if you’re a vegan? Are you okay with eating ham or turkey one day out of the year? You know, for some people eating vegan is ethical. They don’t want to hurt or eat animals. I wasn’t an ethical vegan. I was a vegan for health reasons.

It’s not cheating because you eat something once in a while. I don’t want to call that cheating. Accept what you can control and what you can’t, it’s not worth stressing over. The holidays at the end of the day are meant to be fun. So don’t beat yourself up.

If you eat something that you aren’t “supposed” to eat for one day or two days out of the year. I don’t care if you ate it five days out of the year. As soon as you can get back on the bandwagon. It’s how you eat most of the time that’s going to be a health benefit to you or help you lose weight. It’s the consistency over motivation that will help you reach your goal. We are not always motivated to do the right thing.

One, two, or five days out of a year, isn’t going to kill you. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to the people around you. Enjoy your holiday season. Happy holidays. Happy Indigenous People’s Day! Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Hanukkah! And anything else I’m missing. Enjoy. 

I hope these tips were helpful. Follow me on Instagram for more tips and daily updates on my wellness journey. Catch new episodes every Wednesday on Apple or Spotify